5am revellation #647
Feb. 8th, 2007 06:00 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
annarti.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
yrae
...Yeah, I get these a lot. Most of the time when I'm awake at 5am, I get some sort of revellation to do with Silent Harmony. Usually incredibly spoilerific, usually answers some question I've been puzzling over so long that I've given up on answering it, sometimes totally random out of the blue that just makes things more interesting. Yan being first king of Raykin was one of them.
This~ one is odd. Woke up at 5-ish because of a bloody MOZZIE, couldn't sleep, and of course BANG, now I can't get back to sleep. So I come to you~ =D Cos this one has me puzzling.
In a nutshell, tell the whole of the first part of SH from Nimay's point of view. No Yamin at all until she meets her at their hrai-dani.
I'd keep the prologue as is, but then start when Nimay wakes up in the healing house and make it seem like the major goal of the first book is to get her into the Own and become their General. Get that all sorted, take her on her first mission as General, hrai-dani two months later and there's 'min. Continue the rest of it as planned and finish part one at the border crossing into Kazin.
5am revellations never have any thought process leading up to them, just happen, then the reasoning comes afterwards. In this case, Yamin doesn't really actually do anything prior to the hrai-dani. She hides a lot, does some healing, eventually heads the healing house, worries about what in Lin's sweet and holy name they're going to do, and draws people who are going to die before the next sunrise, the latter of which doesn't actually get mentioned until after the two of them meet up.
There would still be Essence of 'Min in that bit of the story, or rather her noticable absence, so that when she does rock up, she looks like she's supposed to be there. Not knowing who the head healer is, feeling like everyone's hiding something, feeling like something's missing, and obviously her lack of memories prior to waking up in the palace.
It'd make things a lot more... not suspensey, but so that all Nimay's questions haven't already been answered to everyone but her in the first two chapters. Have everyone ask the questions with her, then they're all answered with Yamin's appearance, only to have more questions appear about Yan. There'd be clearer focus--one goal of getting in the Own instead of three with bumping of Yan and getting 'min head healer--and a lot of it would just work better.
Negatives, and there obviously are some:
So! Thoughts anyone? You can go anonymous if you really think you'll hurt my feelings with any of it, but honestly, I've got damn thick skin when it comes to my stories =3
This~ one is odd. Woke up at 5-ish because of a bloody MOZZIE, couldn't sleep, and of course BANG, now I can't get back to sleep. So I come to you~ =D Cos this one has me puzzling.
In a nutshell, tell the whole of the first part of SH from Nimay's point of view. No Yamin at all until she meets her at their hrai-dani.
I'd keep the prologue as is, but then start when Nimay wakes up in the healing house and make it seem like the major goal of the first book is to get her into the Own and become their General. Get that all sorted, take her on her first mission as General, hrai-dani two months later and there's 'min. Continue the rest of it as planned and finish part one at the border crossing into Kazin.
5am revellations never have any thought process leading up to them, just happen, then the reasoning comes afterwards. In this case, Yamin doesn't really actually do anything prior to the hrai-dani. She hides a lot, does some healing, eventually heads the healing house, worries about what in Lin's sweet and holy name they're going to do, and draws people who are going to die before the next sunrise, the latter of which doesn't actually get mentioned until after the two of them meet up.
There would still be Essence of 'Min in that bit of the story, or rather her noticable absence, so that when she does rock up, she looks like she's supposed to be there. Not knowing who the head healer is, feeling like everyone's hiding something, feeling like something's missing, and obviously her lack of memories prior to waking up in the palace.
It'd make things a lot more... not suspensey, but so that all Nimay's questions haven't already been answered to everyone but her in the first two chapters. Have everyone ask the questions with her, then they're all answered with Yamin's appearance, only to have more questions appear about Yan. There'd be clearer focus--one goal of getting in the Own instead of three with bumping of Yan and getting 'min head healer--and a lot of it would just work better.
Negatives, and there obviously are some:
- No Yamin for Lin knows how many thousand words. At least a hundred, I'd say.
- No mini twins, relationship between them and their parentals. Could throw in a flashback chapter straight after their hrai-dani for that, or at the beginning of the next book.
- The reader could be distanced from 'min when she rocks up. The possible flashback chapter could make her more real for everyone tho.
- The first book, even when narrated from 'min's pov, would almost definitely read like a story about Nimay. The whole idea of Silent Harmony is to be a story about the two of them. Need to get that across asap from the hrai-dani.
- Yamin could come across as being a bit Mary-Sue-ish.
- There'd be no 'min~~~ =( That'd be totally weird for me and anyone who already knows her, but for the brand new readers... I have no idea. There'd definitely be the feeling that something's missing.
So! Thoughts anyone? You can go anonymous if you really think you'll hurt my feelings with any of it, but honestly, I've got damn thick skin when it comes to my stories =3