[identity profile] annarti.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] yrae
Chapter one of my NaNoWriMo novel for this year =D I tried it in 2004 and got halfway, then lost it =( This year, we hope to finish it >DD As with the last one, this should be entirely self-contained, so no prior knowledge of any Yrae Chronicles stuff is needed. Escept the map, but what's a fantasty story without a map, anyway? XD This one takes place in Kazin, which I've recently decided is primarily gum~ forests, not pine like the map says.

Onward!

~ ~ ~

Chapter~ 1448
Total~ 1448


For my one and only Flannel Flower,

I could not possibly thank you enough for your gift! The feathers are beautiful, and have the most stunning patterns I have ever seen. Who would think that just two dull browns could be so striking together like that? Surely, someone has painted the targets on the feather tips, the colours are so clear and sharp.

It is always said that the birds of the tropics are the most brilliant, with such bright greens and reds. I do so love our king parrot, so common here in Assiraz, but the birds in your mountains have a more subtle beauty. The delicate mix of browns and greys with glossy black and white is so beautiful. I’d love to see a Prince Alsa’s eagle, soaring through the sky so effortlessly on such beautiful wings. These are the true birds of the gods, surely, not our tiny little piping songbirds. I would like to visit Raykin one day, if only to see the eagles you have told me of from your travels.

I love eagles, and how they can stay aloft so easily, without a flap of their wings. Some day, I know I will be able to leave this city and live with you. How perfectly magnificent would that be? Oh, to go and live in the mountains with my love! Alas, my work here in Assiraz has me tied down, and I could not possibly leave yet. Oh, my sweetest Flannel Flower, when I have earned enough money, I can leave this terrible city. I can come live with you. In a week I will receive my month’s payment. I won’t spend it, because this will be saved to live with you in Silrona.

I must emphasise how tired I am of Assiraz. Every day, I feel I will melt in the oppressive humidity. The canopy above will never send its breeze down to us, unless it comes with the ferocity of a cyclone. I am so terrified of them. I fear for my poor home every time the wind chimes sing. I remember all that happened to my home in Sinazi, and it scares me. I never want it to be like that again. I wished only to be in your arms then, and I wish it still. When can I come to Silrona to see you? Not a single day goes by when I don’t think of curling up with you by the fire, something I can’t do in Assiraz. I have heard that even Summer in the mountains is cold enough for a fire at night. Maybe, just maybe, by Winter Solstice I will have enough money to move in with you and leave the tropics behind forever.

I have so much to do here. One of the Houses will not pay their fee for the month, because they claim they have been robbed. They say they will not be able to make the money back for another month. However, our department is not fooled so easily. They have escaped payment before by claiming thievery. It took one threat for the money to magically reappear. However, that first attempt is pale in comparison to the current situation. I fear that my family colours will be stripped if I tell you much more. Just know that already, one of their number has been killed. When will I ever see the end of this mess? My superior will send black horses down there if it escalates much further.

In fact, he fears for his job right now. Our department head may well escort him out of the door if it continues for much longer. Fear not, for my job is safe for the moment. I am told I am skilled enough to take his place if he doesn’t get this all sorted out soon. They would pay me better, and maybe I could leave sooner to come and live in the mountains. Maybe. Too many ‘maybes’. It is such a very dangerous word to use.

Enough talk of jobs and payment. The love between us both is too strong for such simplicities. Eventually, it will be the two of us together. I know not even a thousand black horses could keep me from that dream. I will continue to wait for the day when I see you again. Whenever I hear songs from the mountains I hear you. Whenever I see the beautiful king parrots outside the window, I see you. If I could only spend one more day with you, but I want so much more than that. A thousand days and a thousand more would not be enough if I knew I would have to return to Assiraz at the end. Always know that my love for you will never fade. I will be yours until the very end. I will always be your prince, and you are forever my beautiful princess.

Forever yours,
Frangipani



The fire cracked and hissed in the stone fireplace, comforting background noise in the otherwise cold and silent lounge room. Orange light licked over the floor and the heavy wooden furniture, overpowering the dying silver rays of the sun as it passed behind another cloud.

Flannel Flower set the letter on her knees, frowning at it as she pulled her socks up and wriggled her toes towards the fire. Somehow, after reading it the second time over, the room seemed to grow even chillier. A breeze that wasn’t normally there blew at the back of her neck, and she stood up, eyes on the sheet of parchment in her fingers, to rest her back against the mantelpiece. One foot lifted up close to the flames as she reread the letter, making sure she had in fact picked out the important words.

She turned around and set the letter on the mantelpiece, folding her arms over it so she could read the letter yet again, but there was no mistaking Frangipani’s words.

‘Oh, you’re a tricky one,’ she murmured with a shake of her head. She glanced at the fire, then back at the letter, and shook her head again. She wouldn’t burn this one just yet. ‘I want more than that from you, Frangipani. For something like this, I want much more.’

She breathed out irritably through her nose and turned her back on the letter. ‘Gods above. One of them, maybe. Very maybe. So maybe that I’m going to say no. But two?’ She ran her fingers through her hair and pushed away from the fireplace, flopping back down in her couch and closing her eyes. ‘You haven’t even given me time to ask for more. Oh, you’re a tricky one, Frangipani.’

Her clothes were warm against her back as they pressed against the leather, and relieved a slight tension in her shoulders, as well as in her mind. The firelight played warmly against the backs of her eyelids, and the gentle hiss and crackle almost had her on the edge of sleep. One log decided to pop loudly, startling Flannel Flower’s eyes open.

A shower of sparks flew up the chimney, but Flannel Flower’s eyes fell again on the letter, sitting half-folded on the mantle.

‘Summer Solstice, you say?’

She cast her eyes lazily out the window at the decidedly un-Summery sky. It was only blue because the clouds were so heavy they’d given up on grey. Despite that though, the Solstice was barely three weeks away.

She stared for a while out of the window, watching as the clouds darkened from blue-grey to dirty black, then dragged herself to her feet to throw another log on the fire. She poked it a bit with the iron tongs, then gave up and threw the tongs aside with a loud clang.

Then she straightened, the letter was there again, right under her nose. She sighed and set her hands on her hips, flicking her eyes over the important words again.

‘I don’t know how much faith you have in me,’ she told the letter, ‘but I can’t do that. One? Very, very maybe. Both? Not a chance.’

She picked up the letter between two fingers and made a face at it. ‘Find someone else.’ She scoffed and shook her head, then tossed the parchment on the fire.

The letter caught easily, flaring in a brief blaze of glory as its corners curled up and the sheet turned ash black. It wasn’t destroyed though. Flannel Flower could even read some of that beautiful flowing script on the page. She reached over for the tongs and poked the page with it.

The letter fell apart, reduced to flakes of ash in the hissing, crackling fire.

~ ~ ~


For those who know what the bloody hell is going on here, don't spoil it for those who don't please ^^

Date: 2006-11-02 02:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] garney.livejournal.com
Oooohhh =o

Date: 2006-11-06 11:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladylight.livejournal.com
*bites lip and is good* XD

I really like this for an intro. The WTF factor of the hapless unknowing reader is great. XD I'd be tempted to say 'picked out the key words' instead of 'picked out the important words' just so there isn't *too* much of the wtf, but that's more preference than helpful feedy.

Goooo NaNo! *shakes pompoms*

Date: 2006-11-06 12:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drazzi.livejournal.com
... That's a damn impressive beginning, I like it my dear =D It's really zapped me in and made me want MORE NOW!

Date: 2007-01-16 12:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shanra.livejournal.com
Hello! I've finally made it! (Though currently only for this chapter, methinks. Or I'll have my own characters breathing down my neck, demanding I write.)

the mountains[,] I hear

that already, one <- I'd go for another comma before 'already', but that could just be me. It just looks and sounds wrong with the one comma there. After all, you've moved 'already' from the end of the sentence into the middle. *babble* (I hate commas)

And that's it for nits. (I have a feeling that if you held a spelling contest between native English speakers, Australians would win hands down.)

That was... WOW. I loved the WTH factor in this? Can't recall ever reading anything quite like it, in the very, very good way. That was an incredible opening chapter.

The descriptions were gorgeous and there is so much to go back for. It's one of those openings that just beg for rereading once you know what's going on, just so you can figure out what the important/key words in the letter are. (Beyond the 'maybe'.)

'twas just absolutely gorgeous. (And I am better with comments, usually, but my brain is fried thrice over today...)

Date: 2007-01-18 04:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shanra.livejournal.com
I jump all over the place with commas. ^-~ (I'm a lot worse with semi-colons anyway. Ask Becca; I must drive her mad. ;p)

I'm sure it will. Any opening this intricate is bound to deliver up a good story. (I'd go mad working in letters/clues/riddles like this.)

Uhm... *shuffles feet* In my case, that's a pretty good question... I wouldn't recommend 'Wayward Dreams', 'Crownless' and 'Phantasmagoria', mostly because those are begging for a rewrite someday soon. (Actually, all of them are, but those need it to learn how to stand on their own feet.)

I'd recommend either 'Barriers' or 'Vermin' for the lirveron snippets (and that lot features most often in Talechasing challenges) and it's free game on all the rest. Hope that helps any. ^-^; *needs to make a list of 'how to read things' one day*

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